Balance. People talk about it all the time.
Oh, you need more balance.
A better balance will help you.
If you find a better balance, you’ll be happier and more productive.
But what exactly is balance and how do you accomplish it?
Balance
When we talk about balance, we’re essentially talking about being able to balance your life (family and home) and your work (job and professional growth). Think about it like a scale. Ideally, your work will never outweigh your life. Ideally, we’d like life to outweigh our work, but that likely means that you’re not making ends meet, so you need to balance a bit more.
The concept of balance is supposed to be more about finding harmony between work and life, but right now, it’s sometimes about accomplishing tasks.
When you manage or own a business, a lot of your time is consumed with maintaining and growing that business. Therefore, your work will outweigh your life.
We see it in most of the Hallmark movies. Busy girl is so busy that she doesn’t have time to go home for the holidays, but something unexpected happens, so she has to go home where she finds her high school sweetheart has made a wonderful life in their hometown. She ends up realizing how important family is and quits her job to open her dream shop/restaurant/inn in her hometown where she and her beloved can be together.
The reality is not so simple. Especially when you’re a mom. That reality is much different. Our kids have to be our priority. We have to feed them, raise them to be good humans, and help them with their homework. (Shout-out to teachers who deserve all the money and all the things for dealing with a room full of these kids!)
A mom’s life outweighs her work, especially right now and especially during the holidays. Holidays add an entirely new layer of complication! Holiday shopping, cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the holidays–it’s all-consuming. So how do we still maintain our work while life is constantly tilting the scales?
Balance
I have 3 tips for you on how to balance your work and life, especially during the holidays.
Tip 1: Plan ahead
First, you’ll need to plan ahead. When it comes to the holidays, chaos is natural and inevitable, but you can plan for the expected and even plan for the unexpected. The end of November through the beginning of January are typically when you have to do some very strategic planning. Follow these steps to help you plan.
- Print November, December, and January calendars.
- Mark the (realistic) days you absolutely need 100% family-only time.
- Put those on your work calendar and share with clients.
- Divide your time into have-to and want-to (tip 2 below).
- Schedule small breaks of at least 20 minutes between have-to.
- Use those 20 minute breaks for the unexpected or to get to some want-to items.
- Stick to your schedule.
Tip 2: Divide have-to and want-to
Next, you’ll need to make a list of things you have to do and things you want to do. For example, making cookies with your kiddos is lovely, but it’s a want to and not a have to. Completing an email and social media campaign for a holiday offer is a have to. Break your have-to items into tasks and assign them times around your schedule. (Protip: Tasks are easier to accomplish than whole ideas, so list your research time, your implementation time, your review time, etc.) Be sure to schedule your breaks as described in tip 1.
Tip 3: Set boundaries
This tip is one of the most difficult for women and moms. We have to set boundaries for our clients and employers and for our children. Being transparent and firm is a great way to garner respect from the right clients. For example:
Dear [insert client name],
I appreciate the work we’ve been doing together. I am looking forward to our continued success in [insert job market]. I wanted to give you a list of dates and times that I will not be available in order to celebrate the holidays with my family.
[Insert dates and/or specific times]
On those days/times, I will be 100% focused on my family. I will have [insert specific projects or assignments] completed prior to those days/times. (Consider adding in a small table or graph if there are several little assignments.)
Please share with me what your holiday schedule is as soon as possible, so I make sure to respect your time by not interrupting you unless there is an emergency.
I extend holiday greetings and look forward to hearing from you.
[Salutation]
[Name]
It’s that easy. For your family, however, it’s a bit more difficult, which is why small tasks are more ideal than large blocks of “work time.”
I’m pretty sure there’s a handbook for kids that tells them “work time” means “interrupt-Mom-constantly time.” It’s exhausting working from home, but working from home under the current conditions feels impossible. Especially when trying to achieve balance.
If your kids are young (ages 5-12), consider working with them to make a sign. That sign can be made of something as simple as a paint swatch. The sign should have three colors, which indicate three levels of need.
- Level 1 (lightest color): I need you when you have free time. For now, I’m going to write down my question or concern to discuss later.
- Level 2 (medium density of color): I need you as soon as possible. There is not an emergency, but there is a matter that could use your attention.
- Level 3 (most intense color): I need you now for an emergency. It cannot wait.
While you are working, they can share their sign with you (slip it under the door or flash it from the doorway. Be sure to explain the difference between each level as you are working with your kid(s) to make them.
Teenagers tend to spend more time alone and can do without parents to some degree. Instead of creating a sign system, consider having your teen text you or write on a family dry erase board. If there is an emergency, they should stop you, but it’s important to still indicate what an emergency is. (The Internet interrupted my video game is not an emergency.) Teenagers, however, are suffering right now, too. Be sure to check on them during your breaks. Consider their input on a shared system, so you don’t interrupt their work flow either.
Achieving a strong work/life balance is not easy. Right now, more than ever, we have to be transparent, patient, and forgiving with one another. But as we move into this ever-present digital platform, we have to move into creating clear, firm, and consistent lines of communication with our clients, employers, and families.